HOW TO IDENTIFY AN AVID SNOWMOBILER

  1. Prays for snow every night.
  2. Turns on the Weather Channel first thing every morning.
  3. Curses the Weather Channel second thing every morning.
  4. Doesn't like to be passed under any circumstances.
  5. Wants a new snowmobile every year.
  6. Would rather ride than watch the Super Bowl.
  7. Wishes he could forget about the speed limit.
  8. Feels that no snowmobile suit is ever out of fashion, or too dirty to wear.
  9. Would never admit to being tired out when riding with buddies.
  10. Has no trouble choosing between an aftermarket pipe, or a new couch for the living room.
  11. Is about as friendly as a grizzly bear when someone "high marks" him.
  12. Refers to standing around as "wasting daylight."
  13. Thumb twitches when snow is forecast.
  14. Enjoys the smell of two-cycle exhaust and the sound of revving engines.
  15. Carries enough odds and ends in his "possibles bag" to make it home, regardless.
  16. Views a heavy, fresh snowfall as an invitation to paradise.
  17. Considers burgers, fries and malts a delicacy.
  18. Can locate gas stations like a coon dog on a hot trail.
  19. Considers his exact sled width when approaching two trees, out of control, and careening downhill.
  20. Always knows (with GPS precision) which way is back.
Inspired by the NWOSF trail map.
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